I have to now try to figure out how to explain to my brother why he needs to dump his girlfriend.

Everyone has their opinions on age differences in relationships. My brother is in his late twenties datign a girl who is 19. They have been together for one month and i now have to be the person to tell him to dump her. 

I dont agree with him dating someone under twenty one at his age. I ont give a fuck about maturity levels or anything its not right and I am now having to look at him like all those other men who get with women that age. 

There are literally millions of women in the world and you shoul be asking yourself why a man that old is getting with you and the other way around as well. Before this my brother was his on by a women in her late 30s and I just dont understand what the fuck makes people think thats okay. 

Just because you can, doesnt mean you should

I understand that you have a way of doing things M. And your stuff in them. But seriously? Just because someone else is running late give you the right to show up late expecting them to no be on time again? And what if she cant take you then what you gon do? 

Be the bigger person and just go and wait for your turn. You need her more than she needs you. Stop using the excuse that having us made you turn into a late person when that is far from the truth. Were all adults now. This is a you problem you refuse to fix. Time management. 

-A 10:33 a.m.

Because of You

If I could never talk to you again I would do it

If I could never see you again I would do it

All you do is suck the energy and joy from my life

I really wish you would go away and never come back

When you grow old and need me I dont know if Im going ot be there for you

I wish I never met you at all

Job Searching

It's really frustrating when your looking for a job and you apply to one and weeks later you still see it up but they didnt pick you for some reason. It makes me truly believe that there are people out there applying for these jobs  and not getting them letting them be another number in the unemployed record. 

Companies are wary to train people to do the job or at the very least ask for way to many things that a lot of people dont qualify for. I have started taking Spanish classes specifically because a lot of jobs want you to be bilingual. 

Another thing that frustrates me is when jobs ask you to do a lot and pay you very little. In my opinion there shouldnt be any job paying the minimum wage and asking you to do more than 5 things. 

On call jobs are also horrible because you cant really make plans and they leave you not being able to make plans because you have no wya of knowing whats going to happen that day.

(no subject)

My brother is slowly getting pulled back into a pyramid scheme. Im trying to be a responsible adult and get him to see whats happening but he's just not getting it. At this point if he gives them all his money its his own fault because Ive tried to warn him but hes choosing not to see the signs. 

By January I Will Be Out Of Your Life

A promise you continue to make
Years later and its still not true
Just leave if your unhappy
Nothing is holding you back but yourself
Those words have become empty
Your never going to leave
Stay miserable
Everyone else is miserable
Your negativity sucks the life out of the room
Life out of the house
Life out of me
Just go away
I still love you
Just go away
Im tired
Your tired
We're all tired
By January be gone
Just keep your promise this time

I hate when people touch my things

I have one corner with a cabinet in the kitchen where I keep all my foods and spices and appliances that belong to me. For some reason today my mother thought it was a good idea to go through my stuff burn a bag of popcorn and then make another one and eat it in front of my dad, who is diabetic, and not offer him any.
She knew what she was doing and it bugs the shit out of me. I think today is a day for my mother to just piss me off by doing little things that affect the way I do my life. I have to buy my dogs a rotisserie chicken every few days so they have something to eat. And for some reason the last few times my mother has eaten portions of the chicken shortening the meal I can make out of it and its just pissing me off. Like you eat the skin so that the inner portion of the chicken dries out and I have to give that to my dogs.

I think I just need some space away from her physically and mentally. She just does a lot for no reason.


My house has fallen into chaos.

People are pointing fingers at other people without proof.

I'm throwing water on the fire and I'm only able to quell it but its still going.

My parents want blood and theyre are willing to blame and innocent person just to get it.

I honestly believe that my mom has done something and is letting her kids take the blame but I have no proof and if I said it out loud I would be crucified.

Today has basically been a mess.

I hate it.

I hate it.

I. Hate. It.

(no subject)

Its been a while since I have posted on here but things have not improved on the Mom front in the slightest. Its tax time and my mother has pushed her and my father into more debt than they had before. She didnt tell anyone that she lost $60,000 gambling or that shes been taking money out of her retirement and not setting aside taxes so now they owe the government $27,000.

But when confronted with this information she makes it seem like its everyone else fault. Its me and my brothers fault because we dont have full time jobs and are not paying to live at home. Its my dads fault because he has a position that lets him work from home and he doesnt spend his money on dumb shit.

She gets like this sometimes and makes threats towards people which makes me question her sanity. She has repeatedly told my dad that she knows where the gun they bought a long time ago is and I take that threat very seriously. Im going to be recording from now on every instance that she says it in case something ever happens.

I honestly believe my mom isnt emotionally stable and if given the chance would hurt someone if there werent any consequences.

I feel like ulcers are growing in my stomach.

And they are absolutely from stress. Dealing with 2 needy parents one who doesn't admit they need help and the other one who calls my name more than I do. My mother needs to become more tech savvy because having me do all her shit for her is annoying me at this point especially as an English major who completely sucks at writing emails.